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The contest for the Presidential nomination of the Republican Party has changed from a “race” to a rodeo. Instead of a serious and intelligent series of debates, news show appearances, and newspaper interviews; the GOP much more resembles a rodeo style contest. One by one would be nominees climb on the bucking bronco of public opinion polls; only to be thrown off before the buzzer sounds, indicating a complete ride.
This series of events comes complete with rodeo clowns; enter Donald The Trump. The Trump has tried to again grab a piece of the nomination limelight by jumping out of the invisibility of the inside of his clown barrel and attempting to horn in on a debate at which he could be the central attraction. But as six of the eight debate regulars said “No” to The Trump and ran from the ring; he was left with just Gingrich and Santorum (as his potential Vice Presidential running mate). Now The Trump, the clown, will bow out of the debate and try to find some other way to get his face and wannabe Presidential image (complete with bizarre come-over) into the spotlight.
Willard Mitt Romney keeps trying the calf roping event, where after each potential candidate can’t tie up the calf of sustained support and loses the all-around Cowboy/Candidate lead. Willard, the Dude from the East, gallops in and appears to throw a rope around first place. But he is having troubling jumping down and actually tying the first place critter up nice and neat. Then some other cowpoke seems to keep coming along and seeing if he can take the lead by riding the wild bronco of public opinion for more than a few weeks without being thrown to the dusty ground. Luckily Rick “The Hair” Perry in his own clown suite keeps coming in try to distract the wild public opinion bronco and climb back on, before it tramples him or another thrown rider to death.
After the clown’s short time in the ring, each doing their clown stunts, the real tough test of Bull throwing commences. That’s where each candidate tries to jump on an animal’s neck and throw the Bull as quickly as they can. They can all throw the Bull pretty well, but the one, who throws, the biggest Bull, the fastest, wins this contest. The early practice seems to indicate that Gingrich will have to and can throw the heaviest Bull pretty far and faster than anyone in the field. Everyone’s used to be sweetheart, Cowgirl Bachmann, has a technique of ignoring the truth and thus can throw the Bull the furthest, but her style of Bull throwing is limited; and got old pretty darned fast. The sentimental favorite, Crazy Old Uncle Cowboy Ron doesn’t actually seem to know which end of the Bull to grab onto and probably won’t do too well after Iowa; but he sure is a crowd pleaser. “The Hair” Perry’s clown dance with the Bull just provides a few laughs in between the real contenders.
It is Dude Romney, and the veteran rodeo insider Gingrich “The Old Georgia Kid”, who are the apparently the only two cowpokes who can wrangle for the all-around Cowboy/Candidate title. The Dude looks the part of Champion (no, not Gene Autry’s horse), but The Kid’s no-holds-barred and unpredictable style of throwing the Bull has the crowd on his side, at least for now. But one or two or three slips with the Bull he’s throwing can lose The Old Kid the lead. And the slow but steady Dude may yet be the All-Around Champ.
The recent backhanded semi-compliments by both former Grand Champion Billy “The (Comeback) Kid” Clinton and Dick “Blackie (Ops)” Cheney praising Gingrich’s formidability as a cow-puncher may be the crown of laurels or the kiss of death, or both. But that’s the old rodeo game; sometimes you throw the Bull and sometimes the Bull throws you!
